They never said it, but I heard it anyway

They never said it out loud, but I heard it anyway.

The pause before the compliment.

The glance when I broke.

The silence when I need something more than "you’re strong".

I learned to apologize for taking up space before I even knew I was in pain.

I learned to shrink,

To smile through it.

To be grateful it wasn't worse.

And the worst part? I got really good at it.

So good, they called me grounded.

So good, they called me servant hearted.

So good, no one knew I was drowning in their approval.

But one day I cracked. Quietly.

Not with a bang, bit with a whispered, I can'

 keep doing this.

And that was the holiest sounds I ever made.

Because that whisper turned into an invitation.

My true community and counselors didn’t flinch.

They sat in the silence they left me with,

And now we know it was sacred.

To the ones who were praised for being fine when they weren't -

May your honesty feel like home, not a threat.